Yours honestly...

post-grad depression is real

Hello my dove! I have been dealing with a lot of fear and insecurity that’s why I haven’t written to you. Well that ends today! I picked this particular time so that you’d be in bed or preparing to go to bed while you read this. I’d love to get feedback from you. It will certainly make my week. How’re you doing? I hope that in all your endeavors you’re happy and fulfilled.

Well for a while I was dealing with post-grad depression. Not me saying that when I haven’t even done the actual ceremony. So how will it be then? I was feeling so scared and void of fulfillment. I mean you spend 4-6 years in uni and you come out learning financial independence. You get initiated into the real world and her practices. You see your mates moving at their own speed in life and it just resonates with you that you’re not moving. Focusing on their pace makes you forget that you have your own race to run. You get so lost looking at their growth and you forget that a step a day is movement too. You do not have to be running before you know you are moving.

I felt like I came out of school with zero plans. Don’t mind me, I have plans. I just felt that way at the time. I hated staying at home watching time pass. Well I’m glad that feeling has sort of faded. I am just getting to know myself properly. The kind of clothes I genuinely like, my principles of life, the non-negotiables in my life and lots more. I take everyday as a new page in the book titled life just waiting to get peeled.

I really miss my friends in school honestly. I miss Gloria, Akeem, Michael, Ella and lots of others. Do you have friends you hang out with in school that you miss? It’s sad that I got close to a lot of people that I may not see as i want to anymore. Thinking about this is making me really sad, lol.

My lovely dove, I trust and hope that you are maximizing your time. As someone who has been really sad in life I can categorically tell you that sitting down and doing absolutely nothing makes it worse. Now, I know that being tired and uninterested is one of the lows of sadness, but you need to try and motivate yourself to get up and get going. It’s not an easy feat love, but i am so very sure that you are stronger than whatever your issue is. You are a great force, in fact you are a verb. You are an action.

So I stumbled on an old post of mine today and decided to share it with you. As a growing human I can tell you that the people you surround yourself with are the ones that will make life enjoyable or hell on earth. In essence I am saying that the kind of relationships you keep, romantic or not will determine the kind of life you will live. Do not forget that the connection you have with people is a type of currency too. Now to the matter i want to discuss with you my dove.

HERE ARE SOME MISTAKES YOU MAKE IN RELATIONSHIPS:|

1. You commit too soon: You just met a person and you are ready to throw it all in. Now these tips are not for lovers only, even friends. You just met this person and you are telling them so much and making so many plans and connections with them. We need to stop being erratic and careless when it comes to humans. You should be like an onion that sheds it’s layers bit by bit. DO NOT COMMIT TOO SOON.

2. You play the role before it’s yours: You aren’t someone’s wife, husband or even friend yet and you are acting like one. You are simply signing up yourself for embarrassment and disappointment. Now, I am not saying you should be lackaidasical about things, but do only as you are allowed too. Don’t forget that the same human you gave a jacket can ask why you gave them when they didn’t tell you that they were cold.

3. You turn red flags to green ones: Please do not engage any further when you have sighted red flags. Red flags signify abort mission. Do not justify people’s actions or make excuses for why they acted as they did. A red flag is a red flag everywhere. DO NOT TRANSFORM IT!

4. You settle: Everyone has things they would require while they are involved with people. Do not just decide to go with a person because you feel they’re all you’re seeing or you’re too desperate and impatient. Everyone has standards. Everyone has non-negotiables. Do not change them for anyone that you do not deem fit.

5. You do not know what you want. They say “if you do not stand for anything, you’d fall for anything.” You need to know what you even want to begin with. You cannot get involved with people if you do not have a single clue of what you want. KNOW YOURSELF BEFORE YOU LET SOMEONE ELSE KNOW YOU!

   My darling dove, that’s all i have to say. If you got to this part of the newsletter, please comment “i will know myself before i will let anyone know me’

   My business launches on the 25th of August this year, please I’d love you to follow it’s Instagram page. See you next Wednesday.

   Have a good night!

   Yours honestly,

   Ebube-baby.